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Cruising and Mental Health: A Judgment-Free Look
Cruising has a long history in gay culture. Here’s a nonjudgmental look at why people cruise, how it can affect mental health, and how to stay safe.
Earl Johns, MSN, PMHNP-BC
Board-certified psychiatric nurse practitioner and founder of Wellthy Psychiatry & Wellness
✓ Medically reviewed by Earl Johns, MSN, PMHNP-BC
Photos are illustrative and don’t show actual patients.
Cruising, looking for casual sex in public or semi-public places or through apps, has a long history in gay and bisexual men’s lives. For generations, when being openly gay was dangerous or illegal, cruising was one of the few ways men could find each other. Today it continues in parks, saunas, sex clubs and on hookup apps.
This article doesn’t aim to judge. Consenting adults make many different choices about sex. Our focus is how cruising fits into your overall wellbeing.
Why people cruise
People cruise for many reasons: excitement, freedom, connection, curiosity, the appeal of anonymity, or simply enjoying sex without the pressure of dating. For some, it’s affirming and fun. For others, especially men who aren’t out or are in relationships with women, it can carry secrecy and stress.
When it supports wellbeing
Cruising tends to feel okay when it’s a choice you feel good about, it fits your values and relationship agreements, you’re practicing safer sex, and it isn’t pulling you away from other parts of your life.
When it may be a signal
It may be worth a closer look if you cruise mainly to escape difficult feelings like loneliness, anxiety or depression, if you feel intense shame afterward, if it’s happening more than you want and you can’t cut back, or if it’s tied to heavy alcohol or drug use. Secrecy can also take a toll, increasing anxiety and making it harder to feel known by the people in your life.
Staying safe
Consider PrEP and regular STI testing, and talk with a provider about doxy-PEP. Carry condoms. Let a friend know where you are if you’re meeting someone new. Be aware of local laws around public sex. Avoid mixing sex with substances that cloud judgment, and never leave a drink unattended.
How therapy can help
A therapist who is LGBTQ+ affirming won’t try to shame you out of cruising. Instead, they can help you understand what you’re seeking, sort through any guilt or secrecy, and make choices that feel aligned with who you want to be.
A gentle next step
Wellthy Psychiatry offers judgment-free, LGBTQ+ affirming care by telehealth across California. A free 15-minute phone consult is an easy way to see if we’re a good fit.
This article is for general education and isn’t medical advice. If you’re in crisis, call or text 988, the Suicide & Crisis Lifeline, or call 911.
About the author
Earl Johns, MSN, PMHNP-BC
Board-certified psychiatric nurse practitioner · UCSF-trained · Founder of Wellthy Psychiatry & Wellness
Earl provides LGBTQ+ and neurodivergent-affirming psychiatric care, blending medication management, therapy and whole-person approaches. His background includes inpatient psychiatry and community mental health at Glenn County Behavioral Health and Equity Health, a federally qualified health center. He sees clients in San Francisco and by telehealth across California.
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