Sexual assault in the gay community: breaking the silence
Why sexual assault among gay and bisexual men often goes unspoken, and how survivors can find affirming support.
Earl Johns, MSN, PMHNP-BC
Board-certified psychiatric nurse practitioner and founder of Wellthy Psychiatry & Wellness
✓ Medically reviewed by Earl Johns, MSN, PMHNP-BC
Gay and bisexual men experience sexual violence at high rates, yet many never tell anyone. Myths about men, sex and gay culture can make it hard to name what happened.
Why it goes unspoken
Survivors may worry about not being believed, being outed, or feeding stereotypes about the community. Some fear their experience doesn’t “count” because of drugs, alcohol, hookups or a prior relationship.
Consent is always required
Consent must be clear, ongoing and freely given. Someone who is drunk, high, asleep or pressured cannot consent. Agreeing to one thing is not agreeing to everything.
Common reactions
Shame, self-blame, anxiety, avoiding sex or seeking it compulsively, substance use and difficulty trusting partners are all common reactions to trauma.
Affirming support
You deserve care from someone who understands gay life and will believe you. RAINN is available 24/7 at 1-800-656-4673, and an affirming provider can help you heal at your own pace.
A gentle next step
A free 15-minute phone consult is an easy way to see if Wellthy Psychiatry feels like the right fit for you.
This article is for general education and isn’t medical advice. If you’re in crisis, call or text 988, the Suicide & Crisis Lifeline, or call 911.
About the author
Earl Johns, MSN, PMHNP-BC
Board-certified psychiatric nurse practitioner · UCSF-trained · Founder of Wellthy Psychiatry & Wellness
Earl provides LGBTQ+ and neurodivergent-affirming psychiatric care, blending medication management, therapy and whole-person approaches. He sees clients in San Francisco and by telehealth across California.
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